Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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