apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
