He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
