no, he came in my armpit
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
