I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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