I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize