I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
