I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
