it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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