I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think I died a long time ago.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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