Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
