seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The air taste purple.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
