Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.