yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
