I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
as a side note pls kill me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
