so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
