I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Found the puke drawer
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
