Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
