I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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