Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize