Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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