I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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