Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
