Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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