I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
