Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
