Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
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throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
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The struggles of a small town man whore
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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