That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
