shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
