Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm like, not good at living.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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