im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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