She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
