I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
