His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
