i think my mom watched the whole time
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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