You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
