Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
