My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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