One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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