tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
