Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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