The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
