just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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