The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.