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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes

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• (830): View more from Texas

  You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though

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• (914): View more from New York

  So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table

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• (801): View more from Utah

  It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (510): View more from California

  A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"

  (1-510): View more from California

  Berkeley was the right choice

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out

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