tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling