You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
smell my finger.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole