Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin