She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
