so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
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Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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