I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
