; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
