My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
