She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
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he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
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Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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