it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
