Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize