I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
