; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
