You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
