Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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