So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
