bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
