We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
