How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
