it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
