It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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