You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
